My Life as a Writer

“So, you’re a writer.”

“Yes, among other things.”

“What do you write?”

“Lots of different things.”

“Like, plays?”

“Not plays. Magazine articles. Speeches. I ghost some op-eds for politicians.”

“I hate politics.”

“A lot of people do.”

“Not as much as me. You should write a thing about how much I hate politics.”


“Yeah. I haven’t voted in 20 years. There’s a lot of people like me.”

“I’m sure there are.”

“You ever write jokes?”

“I write funny stuff, but not really jokes. I’ve never been good at jokes.”

“I’m good at jokes.”

“I’m sure you are.”

“My wife is a writer.”


“She does our Christmas card letter every year. We send it out on email now.”

“Do you come to this restaurant a lot?”

“All the time. You ever been here?”

“First time.”

“It’s great. You should write about it.”

“Maybe I will.”